A Sacrifice of Praise
I was fairly young when I discovered that showing gratitude could have an impact.
It’s amazing how something as simple as smiling at the person behind the checkout counter and saying, “thank you!” can lift their mood and hopefully brighten their day. I like seeing the impact that gratitude and appreciation can have on others. However, I’ve come to realize that gratitude and appreciation can be harder to come by as we get older and try to tackle life’s challenges on our own. It’s not that there isn’t enough to be thankful for, but that we can feel the heavy weights of the world on our shoulders unless we bring them to the cross. We see in Scripture that thankfulness is an act of worship, and can also be a sacrifice as well. In fact, we are commanded to offer up a sacrifice of praise to Him in passages such as Hebrews 13:15, “Through Him then, let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that give thanks to His name."
With that said, this is how I am learning the importance of giving thanks to Jesus in all things, including the trials I never before thought I could be thankful for.
For me, this journey started back when my Dad was diagnosed with cancer in 2010. Many of you knew him and what a precious gift that he was. He was the dearest father and a dear friend to many of us. It was because of his battle with cancer that a few years after his death the Lord taught me about trusting Him by giving thanks even when circumstances are hard. In Proverbs 3:5-6, if you insert the definitions behind the Hebrew words it reads as; "Trust in the Lord with the entirety of your being and do not rely on your own perception of the circumstances. In all your ways be in a firsthand relationship with Him, and He will make your paths straight." My dad's battle with cancer was my first experience at learning this lesson of deep trust, but I still did not realize the importance of thankfulness and trust working together.
Several years later I experienced a very different type of struggle. I developed chronic cystic acne that lasted for several years, and this was especially challenging for me as I struggled with my identity and self worth because of it. I would bleed and scar just from putting on or taking off my makeup. This may not sound like the hardest trial to go through, but it was a deep struggle that l felt bitterness about for awhile. During that time, I struggled with understanding how this could possibly be for my good.
One night I was talking with my husband Caleb as I was wrestling with this and he asked me, “Courtney, have you thanked Jesus for this yet?” My first reaction was…No way. Why would I thank Him for this? What part of this could I possibly be thankful for? How could I thank Him for something that I honestly hated so much? I was wrestling with this as I was falling asleep that night and all the while I felt the Lord tugging at my heart to relent and to bring this to Him. But I wondered how I could give thanks for something that I wasn’t thankful for. I knew that He wanted me to offer it as a sacrifice of praise, but I struggled with the authenticity of it. Wouldn’t it be lying if I said "thanks" without meaning it? Wouldn’t He be disappointed in me and see right through me? I struggled with this for awhile before finally realizing that I couldn’t do this on my own; I had to offer it up to Him in praise in His strength. He helped me release my expectations, burdens, cares and worries to Him by saying, “Lord, thank You for this. You alone are good. Thank you in advance for what I’m going to learn through this. Help me to trust You and to give this up to You. I love You.”
That night I didn’t feel much change, but what happened over time was a miracle of sanctification that grew inside me and changed me from the inside out. Over the following weeks and months, I felt myself experiencing more joy and peace in the Lord, and I was grateful for things I never thought I could be grateful for. The root of bitterness inside me was changed to joy, and I found myself quoting Scriptures that I had not quoted before. When asked about my acne or my scarring I would respond with joy saying, “Oh how I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are His works and my soul knows it quite well!” Psalm 139:14. Because of the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit, I have been learning to be more content and truly thankful for the experiences He’s bringing me through.
Now, fast forward to today...and once again I am struggling to give thanks.
Many of you know that in November we found out that my Mom’s breast cancer has come back at Stage 4 and is in multiple places. This has been absolutely heartbreaking and has been hard to bear especially as we are expecting a baby boy in May. It has been such a long journey to walk through cancer multiple times with loved ones, and I’m still struggling with my dad’s passing every day. Seeing my mom be so sick is almost unbearable, and I wish I could do more to relieve her from this.
Before the Lord, it has been hard to give thanks. I know He is so worthy and that I could endlessly give Him thanks without running out of reasons, but this trial has honestly left me staggering. I could not bring myself to face Him for some weeks because I was so angry and scared for her. I felt like crying out in anger and fear, but I was too angry to speak. The stress and the pressure were piling up against me, and I struggled with thoughts of suicide. I wondered if the Lord wouldn’t accept or believe my praise with all of the anger and sadness I was yelling about in my heart, so I kept quiet and didn’t speak to Him for awhile. Yet, He gave me the desire to keep reading my Bible every morning and has placed Scripture in my heart, such as;
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:6-7
“Therefore, since we receive a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us show gratitude, by which we may offer to God an acceptable service with reverence and awe; for our God is a consuming fire.” -Hebrews 12:28-29
After some time when I know many people were praying for me, I finally relented and gave Him my anger and my fear. I was able to say “Thank You for this” again in spite of my anxiety and pain. I spoke to Him about what I was feeling, and He loved and accepted me like the good Father He is. I’m reminded of what Hagar in Genesis 16:13 said when she was alone in the wilderness, “You are a God who sees me”. He quieted my soul even though the fear and anxiety are still with me daily. He has given me joy and strength in Him, and reading the Bible daily has been the greatest encouragement for me as I slowly read through Genesis to Revelation again.
Here’s the point of all of this. Friend, I don’t know what you’re going through, but if I may I offer my advice, it is to bring anything, absolutely anything, to the Lord and then to give it to Him in trust. Cry out to Him in whatever you’re feeling, because He cares for you. Jesus, our Lord and God, is such a sweet, sweet Sovereign Father, and He WILL care for you. I know that He is worthy of our adoration, praise, and thankfulness. I can say firsthand that if He allows something into our lives, it’s truly for our good and for His glory. I encourage you to cast your cares onto Him and trust Him enough with the outcome to say “Thank You” in advance before you see Him provide. Simply let yourself be held while you grow in sanctification. You might just end up saying thank you for something you didn’t know you could be thankful for.
Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Amen!
